An Experience of One: My Journey as I see it...

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Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Though my semi-retirement officially starts on January 1, 2020 when I will begin working Tuesdays and Thursdays, I feel like it began seven years ago today, New Year’s Eve, 2012.  It was on that day that I confronted my wife of 37 years with suspicions that she and one of her clients were in more than a business relationship.  When asked directly, she would never lie about anything and didn’t that day.  “I’m in love with him.  I’ve met my soul mate,” she told me.

I crumbled as if struck by an anvil blow.  There it was, the thing I’d really never imagined was possible and for which I had done nothing to prepare, but would surely change everything I thought was going to happen in the latter years of our lives.  Among other thoughts I had that day was certainly a concern over how I would be living going forward and whether or not I’d ever be able to retire.

It was a terrifying journey, at first.  I love maps and use them extensively to get where I’m going, but could find none for this trip and it froze me in place.  My wife had handled all the finances, paid all the bills and done the budgeting.  I really didn’t know how much I would need to live in a future of which she was not a part and couldn’t begin to imagine when, or if, I’d ever be able to retire.

I had no choice, though, and so began with trepidation.  As these things do for so many people, and with the help of my soon to be ex-wife for we surely still loved each other very much, they worked out for me.  I discovered a strength in me that I had never tested before and through time spent in a relationship with a perceptive lady after the divorce, that I needed to find happiness within before I could really get on with my life in a satisfying and complete manner.

So…I dated.  I budgeted.  I saved and I planned.  I bought a new place in a modular home community in Cuyahoga Valley National Park where I could bike, hike and kayak to my heart’s content while cutting my living expenses in half.  I began to weave a new life with as many of the threads of the old as I could salvage and muster. 

And in that planning, the item that most dominated my thinking were thoughts of retirement and the life I would lead when the last workday ended.  I wanted it to include traveling North America and seeing all the wonders of the national and state parks; to hike, bike and kayak my way across the continent.  I bought a mini-van and began converting it to something out of which I could launch these trips and have a base camp to return to at the day’s end.  As the time drew nearer and the reality of it began to materialize, I will admit there was panic and concern over whether I could afford it and make it happen.  I visited my financial planner who, when reviewing my simple, minimalist lifestyle, felt reasonably certain I could make it work.  I applied for Social Security and spoke to an insurance agent to secure medical insurance for the three months I’d be uncovered before Medicare kicked in and to add a supplemental plan to go with the Medicare. 

And then I started taking a harder look at my conditioning.  I’m not kidding myself here.  I’m not what I was when I was doing the Survival Workout in my ‘Back to Basics’ blogging days.  Though I’m still reasonably fit due to the nature of my job and the fact that I pound out 20,000 steps most days, I’m a far cry from what I expect of myself if I hope to achieve the biking and hiking I have planned for the years to come.

So…I didn’t wait.  Two days ago, I hopped on the trainer and rode for 30 minutes.  Yesterday, I ran for twenty minutes, which felt pretty easy by the way, and then rode another 30 minutes on the trainer.  Later that day, I hiked 3.5 miles with Dakota.  I’ve dropped down on several occasions and done some push-ups so my body won’t go into total shock when I actually do begin the Survival Workout once more.  I also bought the salad ingredients I need to put more wholesome choices in the refrigerator.

I have a plan and I have the determination to make it happen.  I’m going on this journey, as so many of us do, and I hope to write about it in a way that keeps some people reading and others thinking and wondering about how they’ll handle theirs.  It will be a discovery; a journey of awareness of how blessed I have been and of the wonders I can still find and enjoy.  I hope to change, to expand beyond limited expectations, to challenge and improve myself.  I will write this blog as a testament to that goal.  Join me.

Turtles on the trail...

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Day 19:  Another rough sleeping night.  I have to apologize to my neighbor who hears me coughing in the night.  She brings me food to help me through and I’m thinking of recording the cough and playing it in the window at night after I'm better so she keeps feeding me.

I came home from work early and reclined for a nap.  That lasted for a couple of hours after which I began to get the itch.  ‘What would a little bike ride matter?  I’ll just go easy,’ I thought.

I changed into cycling attire and headed out the door for what turned into a 35-mile ride.  I really did keep it easy the whole time and it was a sunny, beautiful afternoon so that made it almost mandatory for riding.  I took the paved bike trail from Peninsula to Brecksville which goes through some amazing ledge formations.  As I rode I couldn’t help but think how lucky I was to have this riding environment with no fear of getting mowed over by a texting driver. 

I met up with Kimberly along the way and she pushed hard for 18 miles.  She’s really a novice rider, just learning how to use the gearing to make her life of riding easier, but has a natural tendency to push herself and is already doing well.  I’ve told her how good cycling can be for those all-important Adirondack hiking and climbing muscles, not to mention the cardio endurance, and she gets it.  I have reminded her it’s only to augment the all-important hikes with the packs on our backs, which she also embraces.  She’s an easy and excellent student recognizing the expertise and brilliance of my leadership in these matters.

She mentioned how she’d passed a large turtle crossing the path recently and it wasn’t too much later that she was hopping off her bike for a picture session with a beautiful box turtle that had made its way onto the path.

I returned home quite exhausted from the effort.  I really need to take a break and let this bronchitis thing work its way out of me, but I can’t seem to convince myself that it will happen any faster if I just lay around.  I’m not sure it will…
Bike: Two hours.
Training Heart Rate: 140 biking.
Calories Burned:  1,500.
Bonus: 23,000 steps

Bronchitis is winning...

Tuesday, June 18, 2019
Day 18:  I really don’t think streaks are a good thing.  They tend to lead to poor decisions about resting minor aches, which can lead to more debilitating injuries.  Having said that, when you’re competitive and in the middle of one, your good sense seems to be less noticeable.  Like me, for instance.

I woke up through much of the last couple of nights coughing.  It has turned into bronchitis, which can severely limit the lungs capacity for heavy breathing and cardiovascular exercise…the stuff I try to do daily.

I went into work on a poor night’s sleep and feeling horrible.  Co-workers gave me a wide berth as I continued to hack up my lungs.  I had a water test that had to be done and delivered to the lab, but after completing that I headed for home and some rest.  I arrived by noon and napped on the couch, but with the sun out – a rarity these past few months – and my grass getting out of control, I opted to start up the mower and cut the stuff.  My lawn, being the size of a loaf of bread, was done in twenty minutes.  Dakota though, would have none of my returning to the couch and guilt overcame me…as well as a driving need to keep the streak alive.

I drove to an old 5-mile training trail I’d used so often while preparing for the Adirondack hike last fall.  I could have just done the hike without the pack, but that would have meant the end of the streak so I strapped it on.  The fifty pounds felt like ninety as I headed in and up.  The first mile of the hike is mostly uphill and it took its toll.  Breathing hard when I made the top, I paused to catch my breath before continuing what would feel like a death march before I arrived back at the car two hours later.  I was drenched in sweat, but I hadn’t been coughing while hiking so I had that going for me.
Hike: Two hours.
Training Heart Rate: 70-100 bpm.
Calories Burned: 900.
Bonus: 22,000 steps

Pushing a little harder...

Monday, June 17, 2019
Day 17 in a row:  Though I’d been running a low grade fever, coughing and nursing a sore throat since Friday, I was sure if I just kept going, it would finally disappear.  Hmm…

The skies were gray and the forecast was for rain, but it seemed to be holding off and I wanted to work in a ride.  I was supposed to meet Kimberly for a picture taking hike at five, so that didn’t leave me enough time for my 35-mile route.  I hurried out the door with the bike so I could get in as many miles as possible, though.

I know I’ve been riding a in more relaxed fashion for the last several years.  It shows whenever I try to go hard as my thighs begin to throb and beg me to slow down.  Once upon a time, that would be the signal to ride harder and push through.  It was the necessary ingredient to making me a stronger, faster rider.  And for pain.

I’m tired of that I’ve been telling myself.  But on this particular ride I found myself up out of the saddle and pushing hard on every rise in the road.  I was in the profile bars and pushing harder on the flats, as well.  I was thinking about how I used to time every ride and have time records for the different courses I rode, only being satisfied when I approached or broke those records.  I was thinking I needed a stopwatch and should do that again.  All these thoughts were occurring to me as I hacked up a lung and spit phlegm to the ground.

It was an exhausting 2-hour ride.  My lovely neighbor noticed me pulling in the drive at the completion and asked me to come over for chicken and a salad.  I had about twenty minutes to spare and it was such a kind offer that I couldn’t refuse.  I showered, changed and joined her on her porch.

As soon as I sat down, she looked at me and said, “You look sad lately.  Is something wrong?”

How perceptive people who know you well can be.  We don’t see a lot of each other, but enough that she had noticed something I hadn’t even noticed myself – a change in behavior.  I explained about Miggie as she held my hand and teared up.  “It is what it is and there is nothing I can do,” I concluded. 

I picked up Kimberly…and her bike for some minor repairs…and headed for Brandywine Falls.  Though the water flow was down, it was still an impressive volume crashing over the rocks and cascading 65 feet to the pool below.  After several pictures, we headed back to my place to get Dakota and walk the Towpath to the Beaver Marsh.  The river had receded back into the banks, but the trail still had significant puddles.  We sat at the marsh and photographed a Great Blue Heron, among other things.  We talked about her training program and the need to amp it up if she was to be ready to climb Giant in the Adirondacks this September.

“You need one really hard day every week and that hell day is going to be spent with me so I make sure it happens,” I told her.  On the bike, with a backpack climbing multiple hills or steps and maybe even some jogging, but I am going to make sure she doesn’t start up that mountain unprepared.  I love guinea pigs.
Bike: Two hours.
Hike: 40 minutes.
Training Heart Rate: 140 biking and 70 bpm hiking.
Calories Burned:  1850.
Bonus: 22,000 steps

Looking for my Ark blueprints...

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Father’s Day…and rain day. 

It had been raining all night and much of the past several days so when my daughter Heidi texted about kayaking, I told her it was out of the question.

‘How about breakfast at Molly Brown’s then?’ she texted back. 

Not a bad alternative.  I ate large and after dropping her off and hanging out indoors for several hours while the rains continued, decided it was time to say ‘screw the rain’ and do something anyways.  My streak of consecutive days was at 14 and I wasn’t going to let wet stop me…though it would alter my mode.  I’d done a 30-mile ride on Friday and a five-mile hike with a 50-pound pack on Saturday, having upped the weight since it’s been a month since I started carrying it again.

I knew from finding roads closed as I’d driven to Heidi’s place earlier that the Cuyahoga River was at record levels and flooding was occurring everywhere.  I packaged up my cellphone in a ziplock bag, put on my running gear, and headed for the Towpath and a trip to the Beaver Marsh and the bridge over Ira Road to get some pics of the flooding.  Once on the Towpath, I didn’t get far before running into a breach by the river of the bank.  The water was flowing at record levels and the Towpath was underwater by several inches.  I took some pictures and decided that walking through ankle deep water towards the marsh was probably not a good idea. 

I continued my run in the opposite direction, splashing through the puddles and enjoying every step.  It was extremely humid and I was sweating buckets, but everything on my body felt fine and I continued to go for thirty minutes.  I’d have to look back in my blog, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t gone that far in over a year.  I’ve now run a couple of times a week for the past three weeks and I’m getting close to moving my runs to every other day before going back to back.  Though I’m pushing the time of individual runs out more than I probably should, I am taking plenty of rest time between runs and it seems to be working.

The rain continued throughout the day and the forecast is for lots more over the rest of the coming week.  I’m planning a photo shoot hike for tonight and hoping to get some interesting shots of the power of raging water. 
Run: 30 minutes.
Hike: 40 minutes.
Training Heart Rate: 150 running and 70-90 bpm hiking.
Calories Burned:  750.
Bonus: 12,500 steps

Sore muscles...

Thursday, June 13, 2019
I arrived home planning to do a run before John arrived for a hike with packs.  As I climbed from the car, I felt the pain of yesterday’s step-ups throughout my legs.  I’d only done 100, but the logs I’d chosen on which to do them were high and I hadn’t done any since last fall.  Still…I thought all the hiking with a pack and the bike riding would have spared me this soreness.  Wrong.

My running as a 64-year old who hasn’t run consistently in eight years always begins with aches throughout my lower body.  I’ve come to expect this and start slowly; with trepidation.  By the time I was actually on the towpath however –about two minutes of running – I was feeling pretty loose and pain-free.  I ran down the trail for 12 minutes before turning and heading back.  I did a little extra near the house to bring my total run time to 25 minutes.  I felt like I could have gone much longer.

So…note to self…be cautious.  Yes…the cycling and hiking with a pack has given me good conditioning for running, but I could easily overdo it and end up with an overuse injury because it feels easy right now.

The rains had been falling all day and I suspected we’d have trouble getting in a hike.  John was running late getting out of downtown and had forgotten to bring his stuff to hike.  He would need to go home before coming to my place.  I could see it was likely not going to happen, so I took Dakota for a two-mile hike, without my pack, so I could make my 20,000 steps for the day.  I’m kind of caught up in a streak that has me at 11 consecutive days over 20K, something I’ve only done twice before.  My record is 17 days, which is a long way off with a weekend full of thunderstorms predicted.

We ate spaghetti and Butter Boy only had two pieces of garlic bread, which I had not slathered in the quantities of butter he would have liked.  I only had two sticks anyways.

I ate the doughnut from the Middlefield bakery I’d brought for him to sample; it was really a test to see if he’d eat it and he passed, after he left.  I can see that I’m losing weight so I figured I could handle it.
Run: 25 minutes.
Hike: 40 minutes.
Training Heart Rate: 150 running and 70-90 bpm hiking.
Calories Burned:  650.
Bonus: 20,000 steps

Staying the course with Butter Boy...

Tuesday, June 11, 2019
“The Indians suck.  They just SUCK!” John said as we ate our dinners watching the game at Fishers.

We’d done a 3-mile hike with our packs on and then come for dinner.  He is not very happy with the 2019 Indians, mostly because of all the disappointments we’ve suffered as fans since losing the World Series in extra innings in 2016.

“They just knocked off the Yankees and the Twins in back-to-back series and they’re over .500 by three games,” I said.  “They don’t suck, they just aren’t playing as well as you’d like them to.”

He finally acknowledged this and we went back to planning for our trip to the Adirondacks we will be taking with his son Henry the first week of August.

“If we’re going in the backcountry and climbing multiple peaks, you have GOT to get rid of that gut, Butter Boy,” I had admonished him a couple of weeks earlier while eating spaghetti at my place.  He’d taken a piece of bread and slathered it with more butter than I would use on a loaf. 

“I like butter,” he said in defense.

“Tell me about it when you’re puking out half way up Dix Mt.,” I said.  Since that time, he’s been good about biking and hiking, though still eating his ice cream and butter. 

I have continued my own reclamation.  Though only running once in the last week, a 22-minute effort, I’ve ridden the bike or walked with the pack every day for two weeks.  I hope to knock off four peaks above 4,000 feet on our trip in August on the same day and that means being in good shape.  If I manage to do that, I’ll have notched 40 of the 46 peaks over 4,000 in the Adirondacks and close to my goal of becoming a 46’er…someone who has done them all. 

John is due over tonight and I hope to ride before he gets there and then hike five miles with forty pounds strapped on.  I’m staying focused on fitness.
Hike: One hour.
Training Heart Rate: 70-90 bpm hiking.
Calories Burned:  500.
Bonus: 24,000 steps