Squirrels are dumb

Monday, 2/22/10

I’m so pleased it’s a running day. A cold drizzle has been falling all day, which in my opinion, is the total pits for running weather. I thought about going home and putting the bike back on the trainer, but that would be wussing out and I was trying to avoid that.

I arrived at the Metropark from work and headed for the restroom to change into my non-traditional, completely unfashionable running outfit. Today it would be the beat up biking cap, socks on my hands, a short-sleeved t-shirt that actually had some polyester in it, and running shorts. It was about 38 degrees and a light mist was falling. “What doesn’t break you makes you stronger” I have a bad habit of saying to people I’ve trained over the years, but for me its more like “what doesn’t break me, makes me whine.” There was no one to listen, so I started to run.
The trails would be nothing but icy slush and that’s a little more than I could cope with today. I headed for River Road and figured I should run further than I had on Friday or until my calf took a crap, whichever came first. Actually, cold, rainy weather is only a pain for the first five minutes or so. After that, I’ve warmed up, or I’m sucking oxygen so badly, that I don’t notice anymore. Today – it was the ‘sucking oxygen’ thing. I knew early on (three steps from my car) that this was going to be an ugly run. I never disappoint myself when I have this feeling. My legs were hung over from two days of hard riding and bouts with ‘The Lung’. Really out of shape? Do something hard every day until you feel something snap. It would seem that this was my plan – it wasn’t, but being smart about your training is way over-rated.

About a mile into the run, I came across squirrel road kill. They are the dumbest animals in the woods. “Should I run in front of this car? Oh – I’m half way across and I’m going to make it. Oh no, I forgot something back on the other side. I’m sure I’ve got time to get back and get it before I get…” Squished, which they do all the time. If it’s a defective gene or something, I’d think they’d have bred it out over time with all of the stupid ones unable to reproduce since they’re busy hanging out under car tires.

You have to think about these things when you’re running – and suffering. It’s called a distraction. Endorphins, that wonderful chemical in the brain triggered by aerobic exercise and putting the athlete in that blissful state is, well, bullshit as far as I’m concerned. Running is running and does good things for me and I love it, but it’s suffer or think about squirrels acting squirrelly.

Have you ever run in sand? I don’t recommend it, if you have speed on your mind. You trudge along with great effort, but go nowhere quickly. I felt like the road was a never-ending beach. My legs were leaden and I was timing my run with the changing of the seasons. I hit the turnaround determined to keep moving and to slog along until I’d run more than the 35 plus minutes I’d logged on Friday. As I struggled back to within view of my car, I looked at my watch. Thirty-seven minutes! I should have been satisfied, but I was so close to 40 minutes that I did the improbable – I passed my car and kept running. After a short loop, I returned to the car and came to a stop. The watch registered 41 minutes. Hot damn.

I was drenched for my efforts. A combination of profuse sweat and freezing rain found me with steam rising from my body and fumbling for the key in my running shorts. How I love the way I feel after completing a workout I really didn’t want to do and had so many different justifications (excuses) for not doing. I know I’m turning the corner – I’m getting back to the ‘just do it - with some whining, of course’ phase.

Duration: 41:00

Training heart rate: 145 beats per minute

Calories burned during workout: 700

Weight after workout: 203 pounds