Bikini Zone? I don't think so...

Monday, April 12, 2010


“John – where’s your other riding shoe?” Dan was looking around as I emptied the Honda. Yeah – it needed work, too.

“Gotta be right here in the car somewhere. Only a total moron would plan a ride and only have one of his shoes,” I said.

But a thorough search of the car confirmed that there was no second shoe and I was that total moron. Riding shoes are pretty important. They fasten the foot to the pedal making cycling so much more efficient. It’s also a ton safer because your foot doesn’t slip of the pedal at inopportune moments. I was going to be riding the 20 miles home with one riding shoe and one running shoe. I was so styling.

“No one will know. If they see you from this side, they’ll see a riding shoe and assume you’d have another on the other foot and visa versa,” Dan said.

Small comfort for the guy who would spend the next hour looking like a dork. I was planning on taking the long ride home, which would have added another 10 miles, but in this condition – no way. I told Dan how I’d written about him in the blog yesterday.

“Again? I’m getting pretty well known.”

“Well…I think it’s more interesting when I can share a real, live story about someone doing something really dumb. Makes people reading feel better about themselves. I’m always picking on John so it’s nice to have a new target,” I said.

“Pleased I could help.”

“Yeah. Thanks. But this ‘shoe’ thing will make it all about me in tomorrow’s blog.”

I climbed aboard with my mismatched shoes and headed home thinking I shouldn’t insult the guy fixing and charging me for repairs to my vehicle. What the hell…

The ride was tricky with one foot in place and the other slipping all over hell, but I made it okay.

I’d stopped in the park before heading to drop off the car to get in a 30-minute run. I wanted a double before the Saturday triathlon and though this would be a small one, it still qualified. My legs were dead tired as I started to jog. They felt like wooden stumps – not really bending and flowing like running legs should. I knew I was feeling the effects of the 42 mile ride from yesterday combined with two days of no running. I was sweating the calf thing – waiting for it to start hurting, but after 5 minutes, I forgot all about it and the it gave me no trouble.

Oh…and I have this nice, open sore just under the left butt cheek – kind of where the leg meets the butt. The padded liner of my riding shorts ends at that spot and with all of the salt I create in a long ride, it begins to chafe. Hurt like hell over the last 30 minutes of the ride yesterday and for the rest of the evening. I asked Holly if she had something to put on it and she grabbed this cream called ‘bikini zone’ except that’s not what I heard when she went to put it on. I was sure she’d said ‘manly man ointment’.

“This might sting a little, but it really works,” she said as she applied.

It was cool and felt good for about…oh…3 seconds. Then it…hurt…like…hell!

“Sheeeeiiiiiiittttt,” I yelled.

“Does it hurt?”

“Does it hurt? Does it hurt? This kind of pain would kill a normal human!”

The pain lasted only a couple of minutes and I doubt it accomplished anything. I think someone was trying to hurt me. I put vasoline on it for the ride back from Dan’s and it didn’t hurt – going on or riding. What’s she up to? Bikini Zone? What was I thinking?

Run duration: 31 minutes. Bike Duration: 75 minutes.

Training Heart Rate: 135 running. 120 biking.

Calories burned during workout: 525 running. 1125 hiking.