An Experience of One: My Journey as I see it...

-->

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Though my semi-retirement officially starts on January 1, 2020 when I will begin working Tuesdays and Thursdays, I feel like it began seven years ago today, New Year’s Eve, 2012.  It was on that day that I confronted my wife of 37 years with suspicions that she and one of her clients were in more than a business relationship.  When asked directly, she would never lie about anything and didn’t that day.  “I’m in love with him.  I’ve met my soul mate,” she told me.

I crumbled as if struck by an anvil blow.  There it was, the thing I’d really never imagined was possible and for which I had done nothing to prepare, but would surely change everything I thought was going to happen in the latter years of our lives.  Among other thoughts I had that day was certainly a concern over how I would be living going forward and whether or not I’d ever be able to retire.

It was a terrifying journey, at first.  I love maps and use them extensively to get where I’m going, but could find none for this trip and it froze me in place.  My wife had handled all the finances, paid all the bills and done the budgeting.  I really didn’t know how much I would need to live in a future of which she was not a part and couldn’t begin to imagine when, or if, I’d ever be able to retire.

I had no choice, though, and so began with trepidation.  As these things do for so many people, and with the help of my soon to be ex-wife for we surely still loved each other very much, they worked out for me.  I discovered a strength in me that I had never tested before and through time spent in a relationship with a perceptive lady after the divorce, that I needed to find happiness within before I could really get on with my life in a satisfying and complete manner.

So…I dated.  I budgeted.  I saved and I planned.  I bought a new place in a modular home community in Cuyahoga Valley National Park where I could bike, hike and kayak to my heart’s content while cutting my living expenses in half.  I began to weave a new life with as many of the threads of the old as I could salvage and muster. 

And in that planning, the item that most dominated my thinking were thoughts of retirement and the life I would lead when the last workday ended.  I wanted it to include traveling North America and seeing all the wonders of the national and state parks; to hike, bike and kayak my way across the continent.  I bought a mini-van and began converting it to something out of which I could launch these trips and have a base camp to return to at the day’s end.  As the time drew nearer and the reality of it began to materialize, I will admit there was panic and concern over whether I could afford it and make it happen.  I visited my financial planner who, when reviewing my simple, minimalist lifestyle, felt reasonably certain I could make it work.  I applied for Social Security and spoke to an insurance agent to secure medical insurance for the three months I’d be uncovered before Medicare kicked in and to add a supplemental plan to go with the Medicare. 

And then I started taking a harder look at my conditioning.  I’m not kidding myself here.  I’m not what I was when I was doing the Survival Workout in my ‘Back to Basics’ blogging days.  Though I’m still reasonably fit due to the nature of my job and the fact that I pound out 20,000 steps most days, I’m a far cry from what I expect of myself if I hope to achieve the biking and hiking I have planned for the years to come.

So…I didn’t wait.  Two days ago, I hopped on the trainer and rode for 30 minutes.  Yesterday, I ran for twenty minutes, which felt pretty easy by the way, and then rode another 30 minutes on the trainer.  Later that day, I hiked 3.5 miles with Dakota.  I’ve dropped down on several occasions and done some push-ups so my body won’t go into total shock when I actually do begin the Survival Workout once more.  I also bought the salad ingredients I need to put more wholesome choices in the refrigerator.

I have a plan and I have the determination to make it happen.  I’m going on this journey, as so many of us do, and I hope to write about it in a way that keeps some people reading and others thinking and wondering about how they’ll handle theirs.  It will be a discovery; a journey of awareness of how blessed I have been and of the wonders I can still find and enjoy.  I hope to change, to expand beyond limited expectations, to challenge and improve myself.  I will write this blog as a testament to that goal.  Join me.