Who's got the cure for diaper rash...

Saturday, May 29th, 2010

I was at my week-end landscaping, general labor job and sweating my ass off. It was hot and muggy…my personal favorite weather words…and I was doing the thing I do. I’d decided to wear my running shorts since I knew I’d sweat through normal ones…and that would completely gross out the people for whom I was doing this work. They’d never seen anyone sweat like me…I’m that special…and Bob was worried.

“Maybe you should take a break and have something to drink, John,” he said, looking over my saturated shirt and shorts.

I’d only been working for ten minutes. “Nah. Let’s see if I can make it half an hour. Then I’ll take that drink,” I replied.

I hauled and spread 30 bags of mulch, ran the weed wacker for an hour, trimmed and hauled limbs from trees all over the yard, raked dead grass, dug some holes and pulled some weeds. We stopped for lunch and when I returned to work, I noticed the irritation developing between my legs.

“Damn. Forgot to put on the vasoline,” I said to no one in particular. I’d planned to, but had forgotten. I slathered it on now… but it was too late. I continued to work, but the rash worsened during the afternoon to the point where I was having trouble walking by the end of the day.

I headed for home and went straight to the shower after which I powdered up and tried to find something to wear that would not continue the irritation. Nothing worked and I still had my own lawn to do. I manned up and headed outside.

As soon as I started to perspire…which happened from lacing the shoes back on…the pain returned. I spent the next 3 hours whining to no one but me…my favorite audience. I finished up around 8 p.m. and was dead to the world. Did I mention I’d done another plumbing job in between the two landscaping adventures? Well…I did…and I had a right to be tired. I also had to run.

FUHGET ABOUT IT!!!!!

I mean…forget about it. I was so chafed by now that I was bleeding. This was serious shit and I’m definitely not tough and was not running. I was not the least bit worried about calories burned for the day…I’d torn the record book up…but was concerned about these rashes and how to keep them from coming back over and over. Tomorrow would be a challenge. Kayak? Bike? We’ll see…

Yard work duration: 8 hours. Plumbing duration: 2 hours.

Training Heart Rate: Clueless.

Calories burned during workout: 2,000 – give or take – for the day.