Why mosquitoes love me

Friday, March 4, 2011

All of my life I’ve suffered the unfair attention of the insect world. On those hot summer nights when mosquitoes are out in their millions, some folks will swat now and again, but I’ll be virtually fighting them nonstop. I complain that I’m like this magnet for them and those around me…thinking I’m whining about nothing…will pretty much ignore me. I mean…by the end of the night, I look like one of those bug strips in the restaurant kitchen of one of those greasy spoon places…it’s not pretty.

Then there’s this story in the Plain Dealer that says “humans stink more than any other animal in the animal kingdom…and a recent study found that John Rolf stinks more than any other human…which is what attracts mosquitoes to him.” People, the article says, stink from the bacteria AND the creatures living on them (kind of creeped out by the ‘creatures living on them’ thing) and apparently, mosquitoes are attracted to this smell. In particular, they like the sweaty smelling carboxylic acids that humans emit and “that John Rolf emits more than anyone else…because he sweats the most.”

So…I may have been whining all those years…but I was right. I sweat a lot, and have things and bacteria living on me in record amounts. What can I say other than…I’ve got that going for me.

I spent another fruitless night hiking in the Metropark woods searching for deer antlers. I suppose it was fruitless in the sense that I didn’t find any, but I had the chance to listen to a couple of Barred Owls calling to each other…which I joined with some hoots of my own (this can piss them off if they come and find that you’re not available for sex…or so I’m told) and saw parts of the park I’ve never seen before. I’m guessing the antlers have been consumed by forest rodents by this point since I was all over an area where many deer spend lots of time, but its still a pretty big area and I’m hitting such a small part. I’ll probably give it a couple more tries, but think the key is starting earlier in February…provided there isn’t a couple of feet of snow on the ground.

Hike duration: 90 minutes.
Training Heart Rate: 90 bpm.
Calories burned during workout: 450.