"Who should play me...Clint or Terry?"

Monday, July 12, 2010

“Donny Roys called Colby about your story on ‘Splinter’. He read your blog in Cleveland.com in Columbus. Man…you weren’t kidding…everyone reads that thing,” Don said.

“Yes…over a million readers a day. Almost as good as that cook book lady they made the movie about…the one with Meryl Streep,” I said.

“Yeah? You think they’ll make a movie about you and your blog and ‘Splinter’? They could get Terry O’Quinn to play you,” he said.

“Maybe Terry. He looks like me. Maybe Clint. He’s cool and old and chicks dig him…like me,” I said. “Maybe after I finish the book. That’s why you’re going with me to the Adirondacks.”

The book is about the privies of the Adirondacks. Clint and Meryl starred in a movie about covered bridges, well this is about covered shitters. ‘Privy’ is just another word for an outhouse and is used to name the structures one is expected to use when taking a dump in the back country…that or dig a cat hole. They can be rather disgusting, smelly, in disrepair, and full of bugs. Personally, I like the bench privies, which are open-air…no walls…just a box over a hole dug in the ground. Not much privacy, but you don’t really need privacy when there’s no one around. Anyway, I’m working on a book that describes the best privies in the High Peaks of the Adirondack mountains and the creation of the club to which those that have visited and utilized said privies will want to belong. Part of every trip I take to the Adirondacks is scouting these important buildings, using them, taking pictures from them (view from a privy is it’s second highest quality) and of them and taking in other criteria that will help determine the best ones…the ones that make the book.

“So…if the book and movie are about privies, then it’s not about ‘Splinter’?” Don wanted to know.

“Look…with the way I write…it’s all about shit in the end. We’ll work ‘Splinter’ in with the privies,” I said.

Oh…and I did a run. It was a shorter version of Clear Creek since I needed to be home for Savannah’s 19th birthday dinner. We were having 11 people over and I had certain responsibilities that I best shirk when I’m there. I managed a steamy 46 minute job and was glad I was out of time. I could have made an hour, but it was definitely back to ‘hot and muggy’. I am going to be such a flash when the weather breaks and it gets back to the 60’s and 70’s. Tomorrow…bleachers and track again.

Run duration: 46 minutes.

Training Heart Rate: 140.

Calories burned during workout: 875.