Stent removal...

Thursday, August 7, 2014
“Just take your trousers and shorts down and cover yourself with that cloth.  Then I’ll numb you up for the procedure,” the nurse explained.
I had a pretty good idea what ‘numbing’ me up meant.  I’d finally figured out that the stent removal was happening through my penis.  There was no getting around this realization and so that meant she’d likely be sticking a needle in it for the numbing.  I couldn’t help but wonder if the cure would be worse than the ailment.  I asked her to go over what was going to happen and why I’d been having so much discomfort for the past two weeks.
“Well…it’s pretty normal.  The stent is two feet long and stretches from your kidney to the tip of your penis,” she said.
“So that’s why I’ve felt like I needed to go to the bathroom with every step I’ve taken since you put it in?”
“Sure,” she said.  “Didn’t they tell you that when you had it put in?”
“I really don’t know what they told me when they put it in.  I think they put me under and then explained the procedure so it wouldn’t freak me out but could still get credit for having told me,” I said.
She brought the needle closer and I began to squirm and tense.  “This will give you some mild discomfort,” she said as she reached beneath the sheet I had covering my privates.  You think?
And she was right.  Five minutes later, the doctor entered the room and we discussed what was about to happen.
“I’m going to look around with my camera and see if I see the stone.  You can watch on the screen,” he said while indicating the monitor over his left shoulder and angled so that I could catch glimpses of the inside of my bladder and other parts.
“My lucky day,” I said.
He plunged in and I flinched.  No amount of numbing was going to make this procedure pain-free.  I watched on the screen as he excitedly explained that he could see particles of the stone.  He gave some kind of a tug and for about 5 seconds, I wanted to grab his head between my hands and squish it like a rotten pumpkin.
“There it is!” he said triumphantly while holding up a long, thin, green plastic tube.
The relief I felt was almost immediate and so I quashed the desire to physically hurt him.  We had a discussion about what I could do (anything – he said) and how I should drink copious amounts of water.  “You’ll need to come back in two weeks for some extensive testing so we can try to nail down what kind of stones you’re forming and why.  Don’t change your diet until we do,” he said.
I left the hospital and headed for the park.  I asked myself that age-old question ‘what would Lance do?’ and decided he’d work out.  I arrived and changed into my workout clothes and began the Survival Workout with 95 push-ups.  The rest of the workout went smoothly, though I didn’t do too much lower body work.  I managed 17 sets and felt great the whole time.  I’m guessing I won’t be missing that stent for even a moment.
Survival Workout: 60 minutes. 
Training Heart Rate: 100-150 bpm.
Calories Burned: 600.