Annoying driver...

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Once upon a time I was an easily-stressed driver…honking my horn and flipping people off for making what I considered bad driving moves that involved infringing on my complete right to the road. I’m calmer now, but as Reza and I were driving back from the park after a Survival Workout, some moron pulled out of a parking lot…slowly…crossing my lane (I was in the turning lane of an approaching light) and forcing me to brake to avoid hitting him. I beeped my horn in disgust and since the light we were approaching was red, rolled down the window on the passenger side and called out to the guy. “Did you happen to notice I was driving down the road?” He had this shit-eating grin on his face, having prepared his clever retort. “What’s your hurry…it’s a red light up there?” His logic…it’s okay to cut people off when approaching a red light because they need to stop eventually…so why not early by braking to avoid slamming into his silly ass. “Did you realize you’d blocked my right-of-way…and knock that silly, simple smile off your face before I come over there and slap you around until you actually understand what a total dumb ass you are.” He kept smiling and said he knew he was wrong, but didn’t seem to really care. “I just wanted to make sure you saw my car…you drive like you didn’t,” I said as I pulled away. The really annoying thing is that shit-for-brains drove away thinking I’m irrational for having beeped at him to notify him he was driving with his head up his kiester. He’ll probably keep doing that kind of stupid stuff until he runs into someone who’ll have a little more road rage than me and pull him from his car to beat him…well…sillier than he already is.

Reza had joined me to re-introduce himself to the Survival Workout. Though I didn’t check, I’d guess he’s running about 80 miles a week and about as thick as the sticks I throw for Dakota when we’re hiking together. He’s interested in total body fitness though, and knows the Survival Workout can give it to him in the environment he enjoys the most…the North Chagrin Reservation. We started like I always do by heading for the pull-up branch. I ripped off my usual 12 while he was doing push-ups. When I told him I’d done 12, he looked amazed. “I’ll be happy with 3,” he said. I forced him to use the palm-away technique and when he determined that I expected him to get his chin above the branch he said, “that makes it a chin-up…not a pull-up.” He’s quite technical. “Tomato…tomahhto…quit stalling and knock out a few ‘chin’ ups, would you?” He pulled until the top of his head was level with the bottom of the branch…struggled…and lowered himself. We had some work to do. I knocked out 55 push-ups…he doubted my count…we did some dips and lifted a log before heading down the trail. I worked closely with him to be certain he lifted things with good form to assure a ‘no injury’ workout. On my second set of push-ups, I notched another 50…which he didn’t dispute. “If I get 41 for my third set, I’ll break my 3-set pr of 145,” I announced.

We finished the workout and returned to the car for that final push-up set. I dropped and popped another 45 for a new record of 150. “Now…give me 20…I think you’ve been sand-bagging me,” I said. “I’ll be happy with ten,” he said as he began and by six I could see he’d never get there. He squeezed out eight, but when you take in everything we’d done with the upper body over the previous 60 minutes, he’d done quite well for a first time out. “Twelve workouts over the next four weeks and you will be absolutely amazed at how much more you’re doing,” I told him knowing it was true. He’ll be sore tomorrow, but I’m sure he’ll be back for the Saturday morning workout.

I got home and after eating some fruit, went up for my shower. I looked at the scale and decided ‘no’. I always weigh in immediately following a long aerobic workout and not having eaten anything…for consistency and to get the lowest possible reading. Then I decided ‘what the hell’ and climbed aboard. It was a little dark in the room, but when I bent closer to read the number ‘180’ I was amazed. Had I gone out for that ride, I’d have come in at 178 and probably peed my pants with excitement. Still…a new low and now 28 pounds since the blog began. I’m happy.

Survival Workout duration: 60 minutes.
Training Heart Rate: 100 to 150 bpm.
Calories burned during workout: 600.