That's not a dog!"

Sunday, January 16, 2011

John arrived in the early afternoon for a Metropark hike. It was damned cold and there was still plenty of snow on the ground, so I knew we’d get in a good workout if we hiked off-trail…which we did. I tried parking at the bottom of Ox Lane, but once again the Park personnel failed to read their memo to have my parking spot cleared out. “I think we can get back out of that snow…don’t you?” I asked John as we pulled off the road and into MY spot.

“Um…maybe…no,” he responded as I came to a halt in six inches of snow. I tried some forward movement, but the tires were just spinning. “You’re going to have to rock it,” John offered. Fortunately he was in the car because in forty years of driving…I’ve never been stuck in snow.

I rocked it out and we went and found a real parking lot…plowed for common folk who use my park. We began our hike by crossing a field with at least eight inches of snow and I was sweating five minutes into the hike. By the time we had slid down our first ravine and climbed up the other side, I was pouring sweat and forced to carry my manly man Carhartt coat. John found it rather entertaining that it was 15 degrees and I was hiking in a t-shirt and jeans and took my picture. What can I say? I drip.

We walked for around 90 minutes and near the end of the hike, I queried John about the puppy they were picking up on Friday. “It’s a Bernese Mountain Dog. They get pretty big…up to 150 pounds,” he said.

I looked at cute, forty-pound Dakota and said, “that’s not a dog, John. It’s something that should be hooked to the Budweiser beer wagon. You’re going to have to get the kids working to pay for its food.” He said they were cute and cuddly and crap like that and I love dogs, but I don’t think I want one that I have to stable every time we get home.

Dinner was great and something I don’t remember ever eating before. Holly called it Hungarian Goulash…I called it ‘calories in’. She made her wonderful cinnamon sweet rolls and I managed to limit myself to one…giving the leftovers to my father-in-law for him to take home. Slick calorie-saving move.

We finished the day by going to see ‘Social Network’ at the cheap theatre. I’m a facebooker and I thought it was a great story about putting money and/or power in front of friendship. I thought the last line Mark Zuckerberg’s attorney says to him was classic. “You’re not an asshole, but you’re trying so hard to be one.” Geez…I’ve known a couple of folks like that in my lifetime, though none of them had founded Facebook and were worth over a billion dollars... which includes me.

Hike duration: 90 minutes.
Training Heart Rate: 85 bpm.
Calories burned during workout: 550.