I’d stopped over my editor’s house the other day to pick up some magazines…I needed an extra ream so that I could have copies to sign for the many adoring fans interested in my first edition as a professional writer…when she popped open a box with socks inside.
“Cool socks. They sent them to me to critique…want to run in them and tell me what you think?” Marla asked.
She explained how she received free stuff all the time because sports equipment manufacturers wanted to get their product into the hands of sports magazine editors in the hopes that they would get a favorable review. She opened a second box and found something called ‘Knuckle Lights’, flashlights designed to be worn on the hands for running trails at night. She offered these to me, as well.
“They’re kidding…right? Flashlights on your hands? Don’t they know that when you run, you swing your arms…the things your hands are on the end of…and the beams of light will be everywhere but on the ground in front of you?” I said.
“John…be nice. Give them a chance and see if they work. We don’t want to hammer them without trying this stuff first,” she said.
I suppose she was right, so I took both products and headed for the Metropark. It wasn’t dark when I got there, so I decided one product at a time. The socks were called ‘Drymax’ and their shtick was that they wicked water or sweat away from the feet and since it was moisture that pulled heat from the body, they would prevent cold feet…and frostbite…for runners on cold winter days.
Now…I’ve only been running for forty years in Northeast Ohio winters and I’ve yet to have cold feet…wet socks or not. I’m pretty sure I’ve never had frostbite, either. And I’ve known a couple other people who have run along with me in Northeast Ohio winters…and they’ve never complained of cold feet or frostbite. Could be that the foot stays warm because it’s pretty much involved in every step a runner…or a non-runner for that matter…takes. Could be. Anyway, I pulled them out of the box to put them on when I noticed the color…reddish-pink. I called Marla.
“Okay…so I’m putting these socks on and they’re kinda red…but kinda pink…and I’m thinking someone is going to see me running in them…and kick my ass on general principle,” I said.
“They’re cold weather socks. You’re supposed to have running pants on that would cover them up,” she replied.
“Look…its 45 degrees and I’m wearing shorts. Are you telling me pink was the only color they could think of to make them in?” I was pretty sure I’d seen running socks in colors other than reddish-pink. And I really wasn’t too worried about someone kicking my ass…I’d done 106 push-ups, after all, and I could drop down and show a potential ass-kicker just how I did them…even in reddish pink socks…and I was pretty sure they’d leave me alone, but boy, were these suckers ug-a-ly.
The trails were extremely sloppy and so I ran them in my new, cold weather running, water wicking, frostbite preventing, get an asskicking ‘Drymax’ socks for 50 minutes and returned to my car with my feet soaked through and through. I drove home, walked in the house and took off my shoes. The socks were soaked of course…how could they not be since my shoes were soaked and they were on my feet and inside my shoes. I peeled off the socks a dropped them on the floor where they landed with a ‘splat’. My feet had that kind of wrinkled look they used to get when I was a kid and stayed in the tub playing for an hour. But I have to admit…my feet were not cold and they definitely weren’t frostbitten…so I guess the socks worked…and I suppose this is an endorsement…and I’m sure that Drymax will read this and having me do all their promo’s from this point forward. Or not.
Bike Duration: 45 minutes. Run Duration: 50 minutes.
Training Heart Rate: 120 biking and 140 running.Calories burned during workout: 625 biking and 850 running.
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